People experiencing chronic illness, spiritual disconnect, and stuckness in any area of life are frequently in a state of struggle with boundaries.


It seems many/most of us were taught that boundaries are about controlling others. Not true.

Or that boundaries will destroy relationships. Super duper not true.

Or that boundaries are selfish and unkind. Also completely and utterly not true.

Boundaries are essential for building a life of wellness.

Boundaries are about the management of the self.

Boundaries protect others from us, just as much as they protect us from others.

If setting boundaries leads you to realize you are trying to control others’ behavior rather than manage your own needs and energy output, this reveals a disconnect from your internal power and/or a fundamental misunderstanding of how healthy boundaries actually work.

We can work with that.

If setting boundaries escalates destructive or hurtful behavior in a relationship, the boundaries have served the purpose of shining a clear light on a dysfunctional dynamic that likely appears in many places in your life.

We can work with that.

If setting boundaries results in being called selfish or unkind, then that boundary is revealing an unbalanced relational dynamic in which others learned to view your over-giving and self-sacrifice as an expected baseline. They will recalibrate to the new normal with time, or they will not – but their feelings are not your responsibility when you are operating from a place of internal power.

And we can work with that.

So repeat after me: “Pushback against my healthy boundary shows how much it was needed and how right I was to set it. I am proud of myself for taking care of my needs.”

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”
~Brene Brown


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